10 things that actually help when everything feels like too much

low-effort ways i come back to myself when everything feels like it’s piling up

at some point this week, i found myself standing in the kitchen holding a spoon i didn’t remember taking out of the drawer, rereading the same email for the fourth time while on hold, while a completely unrelated thought about broadband contracts and cat medication and whether i’d drunk any water at all that day all tried to speak at once, and it occurred to me, in a way that felt both obvious and slightly ridiculous, that my life had turned into a chaotic group chat where no one was taking turns or getting any answers.

there are just some weeks or even seasons that go so far off plan you may as well have written “???” in every slot in your calendar and called it scheduling, the kind where things just stack, one on top of the next, tabs multiplying, todo list growing, thoughts overlapping, until your brain feels at breaking point and you’re no longer entirely sure how you’re going to get to the end of the day without your head exploding.

this week was one of those. it started so well, it had all the ingredients of a good one; i’d intentionally carved out long uninterrupted mornings and afternoons to write, and was picturing slow dreamy days at the kitchen table, coffee in one hand, pen in the other, finally getting ahead, finally feeling a bit more like myself again… and then before i even realised what was happening my week got taken over in a way that felt almost ironic, like i’d somehow wandered into the upside down and everything was familiar but off; ivf steps that couldn’t wait, a cat that needed more care (and surgery) than expected, emergency appointments, unexpected home issues, no internet, and a surprising amount of time explaining the same situation to different people on the phone for several hours a day, all while trying to keep the rest of life and work gently moving in the background.

and i kept thinking about how this is usually the exact point where all the small things we know help just… slip, enough that everything starts to feel a bit harder than it needs to. so this is for that version of you, the one who still has things to do, emails to send, life to keep ticking along, but would quite like to feel a little more like herself again while doing it.

1. stretch like you’ve just woken up

even if it’s 3pm and you feel like a crumpled receipt that’s been in someone’s pocket all day, stretch your arms all the way up above your head like you’ve just woken up, properly reach, hold it there for a few seconds, let your shoulders drop afterwards, maybe even let out a yawn you didn’t plan, because that’s kind of the point, it’s not about flexibility or doing it well, it’s about interrupting that slightly hunched, braced position your body slips into when everything feels like too much, and reminding it, gently, that you’re allowed to take up a bit more space than that.

did you know: yawning and stretching together can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which is your body’s way of shifting out of stress mode and into rest and repair.

2. declare bare minimum days (bmd)

right now is not the norm and pretending it is will only make everything feel heavier than it needs to, so do what michael scott did in that office scene, and quietly or slightly absurdly declare (not bankruptcy but) bare minimum days, like a small announcement to yourself that something has shifted and the usual rules no longer apply. and for however long this upside-down version of the week lasts, you’re operating on essentials only; a short list of what actually counts, reply to the urgent things, do the paid work, eat something, drink water, rest where you can, and everything else goes on a “not today” list without guilt, no trying to get ahead, just what keeps things gently moving. because the relief isn’t in just suddenly doing less, it’s in no longer expecting yourself to carry a version of the week that clearly isn’t happening.

note to self: you’re allowed to change the rules when life changes first.

3. treat yourself like you’re running on low battery mode

you wouldn’t expect your phone to perform at full speed on 5% and yet somehow we expect that of ourselves, so instead treat yourself like you’re running on low battery and adjust accordingly. easy food instead of effortful meals, pjs earlier than usual, small things that make the day feel a bit more held, the dessert you actually want, the takeaway that saves you thinking, not as a reward for getting through it, but as support while you’re in it, because this isn’t about being indulgent, it’s about being realistic with the energy you actually have.

reality check: 5% energy was never designed for high performance.

4. write yourself a slightly dramatic note (burn book style)

open your notes app and write yourself something completely honest and maybe a little bit extra, the kind of thing you wouldn’t usually say out loud, like a mini burn book entry just for you, something you might roll your eyes at and then secretly feel better reading back, because it’s no longer bouncing around your head asking for attention. get it all out, the frustration, the annoyance, the “why is this happening all at once… i want to burn it all down,” slightly unhinged thoughts that keep circling. no editing, no softening, no trying to make it sound wise or put together. it doesn’t fix anything, but it helps release the pressure and clear a bit of space, like opening a window in a room that’s been holding too much for too long.

permission slip: you don’t have to be composed inside your own head.

5. run a 10-minute “clear the plate” sprint

when everything feels open-ended and slightly chaotic, your brain is usually craving something that has a clear beginning and end, so set a timer for 10 to 30 minutes (whatever you have the capacity for) and pick one or two obvious things that have been hovering; reply to that message, book the appointment, send the email, confirm the thing, no perfect wording, no reorganising your entire life while you’re at it, just clear one thing, properly, and when the timer ends stop (and maybe make yourself a cup of tea), even if there’s more to do, because the point isn’t to get ahead, it’s to give your brain the feeling of one plate being cleared.

where to start: pick the thing you’ve reread three times and still haven’t done.

6. protect one “keeps me okay” habit at all costs

this is always the first thing to quietly disappear when a week goes sideways, the small things that never feel urgent but makes everything else feel better in the long run, so choose one and you protect it like it actually matters. it could be drinking water like it’s the only plan, taking your vitamins, going for a short walk, doing your workout because it eases your anxiety, calling someone who steadies you, not as a bonus you’ll get to if you have time, but as the baseline that helps you have the capacity for anything else at all.

non-negotiable: pick your habit and go do it asap

7. leave a breadcrumb for future you

when everything feels messy and up in the air, it’s easy to overwhelm yourself thinking about all the future things you need to fix, but you not everything needs figuring out today, you just need to make tomorrow slightly easier for yourself by leaving a breadcrumb, something small and obvious that future you will quietly appreciate, filling up your water bottle, opening the document you’ll need and typing a few rough notes, laying something out ready, no full reset or master plan, just a small act of care that says, i’ve got you, even here.

for later: make tomorrow feel like someone’s already been there and helped.

8. the “too many tabs” reset

grab a notebook and give yourself ten or fifteen minutes to empty your head onto paper, everything, the worries, the half-formed thoughts, the tasks that keep following you around, no structure, no making it neat. when you’re done go back through and cross out everything that sits outside your control, because some things simply aren’t yours to solve today, then circle any “meh” tasks, the ones that are just lingering without urgency, and let them go too, and from what’s left, pick one thing you could cancel, postpone, or make easier, because the goal isn’t to organise your life, it’s to stop everything feeling equally loud, and to be left with something you can move on and a list of what actually matters.

strange but true: your brain treats unfinished tasks like open loops, writing them down helps close the mental tab.

9. don’t get “back on track,” just take the next step

telling yourself to you need to get back on track sounds like something that requires a fully together version of you that probably has more energy than your current self does, so instead bring it right down to the next step in front of you, and if it helps, narrate it, “we’re gonna get in the shower, and wash our hair, and then get into comfy clothes,” just one thing at a time, then the next, because momentum doesn’t come from fixing everything, it comes from moving, gently, even slightly.

say it out loud: “just this, then we’ll see.”

10. create one tiny spark of excitement

when a week feels like it’s taken over, it helps to remind yourself there is still a version of your life beyond this, so create one small spark of excitement that lifts your energy just a little, like making a new pinterest vision board and setting it as your home screen, purchasing a new book about something you want to learn about, looking at the stats on your creative side project and imagining where it could go, planning something simple for next week, not to escape where you are, just to remind yourself that there is still something to look forward to on the other side of it. because seriously, what if it all works out?

just for fun: pick one thing to feel good again before everything is sorted.

maybe seasons like this aren’t something to fix or get back on top of, maybe they’re just something to move through, a little more slowly, and a little more kindly, until things start to sound like one voice again instead of ten talking over each other. eventually the emails get answered, the day finds its edges again, and you realise you didn’t need to have it all figured out to get through it, you just needed a few small things to hold onto while it passed.

—hannah x

ps. what is one small thing you could do today that would make the version of you tonight feel even 5% more okay?

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keep reading crumbs:

learning to rest when you’re bad at it

what healing actually looks like (on a random tuesday)

12 ways to destimulate your life (because modern living is a lot)

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~ all images sourced from pinterest