I love this. I hate going to concerts and everyone has their phone out recording. So much of music is the feeling and I can't get that through my screen.
It reminds me of the time I traveled to Ireland in 2011. I picked a day where I wouldn't take a single photograph -- the day we visited the Aran Islands. All around that island, I stopped and took "mental pictures" where I closed my eyes and remembered the moment. You know what day I remember best of that whole trip? The Aran Islands.
sara this gave me chills ngl. the fact that the one day you remember clearest is the one day you put the camera down is basically the whole essay in one sentence 🥺 thank you for reading and leaving this comment, it really will stay with me 🤎
Loved this. Made me think about how women have historically been trained to constantly be aware of how they are perceived by others, particularly men. Focusing on how you are experiencing the world, rather than how the world is perceiving you, breaks away from this conditioning and is so freeing. Like reframing yourself as a agentic person rather than an object for others to consume.
cathy hell yes to all of this, the female-specific aspect to this is an absolute onion i would love reading about. reframing yourself as the one experiencing the world instead of the one being watched is everything. love how you put that 🤍
This is such a thought-provoking piece and has made my think about the way I let content control the way I perceive my own life. I wish I could be that person who's a little more offline and just living in the moments, but unfortunately I do fall victim to overthinking every little piece of content I could create anywhere I go and when I don't create the content I had planned in my mind, rather than basking in the experiences regardless, I sit there and kick myself for the content that could have been. Truthfully, I dislike that side of me because I am someone who loves to be in the moments and would much prefer to be selective of who see's those moments in my life whenever I do happen to snap a photo or capture a video, but there's that brainwashed part of me who is also wanting to share those moments with a bunch of strangers too and in that case, the content has to be more polished. It's so unbelievably dystopian.
shelby this is such an honest one to put into words, and something i think many creators are struggling with and it is so dystopian and we are the first generation to try and navigate it all. honestly that exact tug of wanting to live in the moment but also wanting to have content because it is literally your job... it's not easy to navigate, espcialy when you're someone who values your private and personal moments. i wish i had an answer for you 🤍
This spring we went on a vacation, and it was the first one since I deleted Instagram. I thought I would be itching to create content out of habit, but on the contrary, I couldn't care less that people won't see where I was and what I ate. It was liberating.
I took pictures for myself, to capture the smiles of my kids and the colour of the ocean, but without any pressure.
maria yesss this is exactly it. taking pictures for you instead of for an audience really does change things, even the way you remember the trip after. so glad it felt liberating instead of like something was missing 🤍
I run the gamut of wanting to document my trips and experiences just for my memories, but then I also share them because so many people ask me about it after the trip. As an introvert, if I can just mitigate questions, I will. 😂 But I am also aware that everyone has their heads in their phone when in public. I make conscious choices to try to limit my phone use when out and about.
hahaha mitigating questions as an introvert is such a real reason to share, not gonna lie. but i love that you're still making the conscious choice to put the phone down when you're actually out in it, that's the part that matters most ☺️
Problem is, I always try to put the phone down when I spend days out with my son. I finally backed up his photos from his life (he's nearly 6) - I had a handful with him and 0 of just me! So I will make sure I am documenting more, not for others, but for me. I lived this life too!
ah steph this got me, 6 years and a handful of photos with him and zero of just you, that hits different. also something i've heard from so many friends. they have so many lovely photos of their kids and their partners but none of them! we need to change that. so i love that you're flipping it and documenting for you now. that's exactly the point 🤍
Love you thinking on this Hannah. I've always loved photography so I constantly feel the pull to document what I'm experiencing but at the same time I don't want to take myself out of the moment. No matter how much I document, it can't take me back to that moment though.
maya yess exactly this. the camera can hold the image but not the feeling, you said it so well. and that pull between wanting to capture it but also wanting to just be in it is so real, i feel that tension constantly too 🤍
This captures a lot of what I feel as well. I think what you describe is unfortunately true for many people sharing their lives online. I've always loved photography and enjoy documenting my life and from my experience this can co-live in a balanced way with social media if it's done intentionally. For a couple of years now I'm using Instagram like a personal gallery of my favorite memories. I only have close family and friends as followers, but I'm actually posting mostly for myself. It started as a personal project of capturing moments that actually felt special to me, so I could go back anytime and look through them remembering those sweet moments. I'm also not posting in the moment. From time to time I just go through my phone gallery and post a carousel of some meaningful photos taken weeks or even months earlier.
susana this is such an important add. the way you do it sounds like the whole difference, posting for yourself, after the fact, with people who actually know you. like keeping a digital memory box ☺️ love that your instagram is basically that at this point 🤍
I never took videos of my kids actives in the 00-10s, I wanted to be present in the moment. It is so hard to feel an experience behind a lens. There are tons of photos and fortunately it was before the age of documenting the experience or it was not a valid experience.
i love this so much beth 🥺 there's something about choosing to just watch instead of record, especially with your own kids, that you can't really get back if you don't do it in the moment. so glad you have that (and i'm sure your kids are too!) 🤍
the internet has made visibility feel important, but some of the richest lives are probably unfolding completely outside of view. not because they’re hiding, because they’re busy being lived.
This is really good, Hannah - very well written.
My wife and I gave up social (besides Substack 😅) a few years back, so nothing is shared except in group chats with our closest friends. I couldn’t agree with your sentiment about “who are you doing this for” more. Giving up experiences that look good for one’s that bring joy is a tradeoff I hope everyone reading this post decides to make.
garrett thank you for this, i'm right here with you in the giving up all socials (apart from substack too haha). my partner and i are the same way. and i really wanna reiterate what you said about giviing up experiences that 'look good' for ones that actually bring joy. it makes me wonder how many are doing the opposite.
this is amazing and so well-written! i love your anecdotes and writing style - you put to words something i was thinking about recently, about how it feels like i'm not "existing" enough if i haven't quite "proved it" by posting or showcasing it online to its full potential. the feeling of needing to milk a moment for the most content possible out of it sometimes only takes away from its enjoyment, personally, and it's nice to hear that i'm not the only one struggling to wrap my head around this concept!
oooft may, okay the way you put "existing enough" into words just got me. because i think that's something A LOT of people are navigating, you're definitely not the only one feeling it 🤍
so beautifully articulated Hannah 🤍 I’m increasingly spending weekends off my phone (not always, baby steps!) and of course whenever I do — surprise surprise — I feel so much lighter. No scrolling and if I do need to document, my husband has his phone! 🤍 and he only ever takes the one photo 😅
I love this. I hate going to concerts and everyone has their phone out recording. So much of music is the feeling and I can't get that through my screen.
It reminds me of the time I traveled to Ireland in 2011. I picked a day where I wouldn't take a single photograph -- the day we visited the Aran Islands. All around that island, I stopped and took "mental pictures" where I closed my eyes and remembered the moment. You know what day I remember best of that whole trip? The Aran Islands.
Life is better experienced without a screen.
sara this gave me chills ngl. the fact that the one day you remember clearest is the one day you put the camera down is basically the whole essay in one sentence 🥺 thank you for reading and leaving this comment, it really will stay with me 🤎
Loved this. Made me think about how women have historically been trained to constantly be aware of how they are perceived by others, particularly men. Focusing on how you are experiencing the world, rather than how the world is perceiving you, breaks away from this conditioning and is so freeing. Like reframing yourself as a agentic person rather than an object for others to consume.
cathy hell yes to all of this, the female-specific aspect to this is an absolute onion i would love reading about. reframing yourself as the one experiencing the world instead of the one being watched is everything. love how you put that 🤍
This is such a thought-provoking piece and has made my think about the way I let content control the way I perceive my own life. I wish I could be that person who's a little more offline and just living in the moments, but unfortunately I do fall victim to overthinking every little piece of content I could create anywhere I go and when I don't create the content I had planned in my mind, rather than basking in the experiences regardless, I sit there and kick myself for the content that could have been. Truthfully, I dislike that side of me because I am someone who loves to be in the moments and would much prefer to be selective of who see's those moments in my life whenever I do happen to snap a photo or capture a video, but there's that brainwashed part of me who is also wanting to share those moments with a bunch of strangers too and in that case, the content has to be more polished. It's so unbelievably dystopian.
shelby this is such an honest one to put into words, and something i think many creators are struggling with and it is so dystopian and we are the first generation to try and navigate it all. honestly that exact tug of wanting to live in the moment but also wanting to have content because it is literally your job... it's not easy to navigate, espcialy when you're someone who values your private and personal moments. i wish i had an answer for you 🤍
This spring we went on a vacation, and it was the first one since I deleted Instagram. I thought I would be itching to create content out of habit, but on the contrary, I couldn't care less that people won't see where I was and what I ate. It was liberating.
I took pictures for myself, to capture the smiles of my kids and the colour of the ocean, but without any pressure.
Loved your thoughts!
maria yesss this is exactly it. taking pictures for you instead of for an audience really does change things, even the way you remember the trip after. so glad it felt liberating instead of like something was missing 🤍
I run the gamut of wanting to document my trips and experiences just for my memories, but then I also share them because so many people ask me about it after the trip. As an introvert, if I can just mitigate questions, I will. 😂 But I am also aware that everyone has their heads in their phone when in public. I make conscious choices to try to limit my phone use when out and about.
hahaha mitigating questions as an introvert is such a real reason to share, not gonna lie. but i love that you're still making the conscious choice to put the phone down when you're actually out in it, that's the part that matters most ☺️
Problem is, I always try to put the phone down when I spend days out with my son. I finally backed up his photos from his life (he's nearly 6) - I had a handful with him and 0 of just me! So I will make sure I am documenting more, not for others, but for me. I lived this life too!
ah steph this got me, 6 years and a handful of photos with him and zero of just you, that hits different. also something i've heard from so many friends. they have so many lovely photos of their kids and their partners but none of them! we need to change that. so i love that you're flipping it and documenting for you now. that's exactly the point 🤍
Love you thinking on this Hannah. I've always loved photography so I constantly feel the pull to document what I'm experiencing but at the same time I don't want to take myself out of the moment. No matter how much I document, it can't take me back to that moment though.
maya yess exactly this. the camera can hold the image but not the feeling, you said it so well. and that pull between wanting to capture it but also wanting to just be in it is so real, i feel that tension constantly too 🤍
I loved every word of this Hannah.🩵
This captures a lot of what I feel as well. I think what you describe is unfortunately true for many people sharing their lives online. I've always loved photography and enjoy documenting my life and from my experience this can co-live in a balanced way with social media if it's done intentionally. For a couple of years now I'm using Instagram like a personal gallery of my favorite memories. I only have close family and friends as followers, but I'm actually posting mostly for myself. It started as a personal project of capturing moments that actually felt special to me, so I could go back anytime and look through them remembering those sweet moments. I'm also not posting in the moment. From time to time I just go through my phone gallery and post a carousel of some meaningful photos taken weeks or even months earlier.
susana this is such an important add. the way you do it sounds like the whole difference, posting for yourself, after the fact, with people who actually know you. like keeping a digital memory box ☺️ love that your instagram is basically that at this point 🤍
good read!
I never took videos of my kids actives in the 00-10s, I wanted to be present in the moment. It is so hard to feel an experience behind a lens. There are tons of photos and fortunately it was before the age of documenting the experience or it was not a valid experience.
i love this so much beth 🥺 there's something about choosing to just watch instead of record, especially with your own kids, that you can't really get back if you don't do it in the moment. so glad you have that (and i'm sure your kids are too!) 🤍
the internet has made visibility feel important, but some of the richest lives are probably unfolding completely outside of view. not because they’re hiding, because they’re busy being lived.
This is really good, Hannah - very well written.
My wife and I gave up social (besides Substack 😅) a few years back, so nothing is shared except in group chats with our closest friends. I couldn’t agree with your sentiment about “who are you doing this for” more. Giving up experiences that look good for one’s that bring joy is a tradeoff I hope everyone reading this post decides to make.
garrett thank you for this, i'm right here with you in the giving up all socials (apart from substack too haha). my partner and i are the same way. and i really wanna reiterate what you said about giviing up experiences that 'look good' for ones that actually bring joy. it makes me wonder how many are doing the opposite.
this is amazing and so well-written! i love your anecdotes and writing style - you put to words something i was thinking about recently, about how it feels like i'm not "existing" enough if i haven't quite "proved it" by posting or showcasing it online to its full potential. the feeling of needing to milk a moment for the most content possible out of it sometimes only takes away from its enjoyment, personally, and it's nice to hear that i'm not the only one struggling to wrap my head around this concept!
oooft may, okay the way you put "existing enough" into words just got me. because i think that's something A LOT of people are navigating, you're definitely not the only one feeling it 🤍
so beautifully articulated Hannah 🤍 I’m increasingly spending weekends off my phone (not always, baby steps!) and of course whenever I do — surprise surprise — I feel so much lighter. No scrolling and if I do need to document, my husband has his phone! 🤍 and he only ever takes the one photo 😅
Wow!!! Thank you for this 🙏🏻